Lord, I’m Still Single…What Should I Do?

*This post first appeared Feb. 14, 2017, but has been modified.

"Roses are red, violets are blue,

Dear Lord, I’m still single, what should I do?"

Have you ever been in a relationship where the other person didn’t/doesn’t show you love or treat

you with respect? Told you that you were/are nothing without him (her)? Do you

know someone who is currently in a relationship and is being treated poorly? Maybe friends have said to you that you deserve better. Deep inside you agree, but you stay/ed because being alone is scary and sucks.

For a short time after my divorce, I used to think of Valentine’s Day as S.A.D, aka, Single Awareness Day. But it’s not a sad day if you find yourself partner-less. You can show the love to your family and friends by way of text, phone, email, or snail mail. No bank breaking needed. Also, don’t forget to show love to yourself.

I’ve learned a few things this past decade. For one, I believe God loved me so much that He sent his son to me even when I didn’t know or love him. Two, I understand now that authentic love doesn’t devalue, devastate, or play on insecurities; fear and intimidation are never good reasons to stay in any relationship, friendship, or marriage. Three, being alone is much healthier than being with someone who doesn’t value or respect you.

That’s why I wrote Overcoming the Underhanded: The True Story of a Life Reclaimed. It’s my version of a love letter to myself, that even though I’m single, I’m not alone. I am loved. Unconditionally.

If you’re in a relationship that is all “give” and your heart cup is never replenished, you’re like popped bubble wrap. Breathe the air back into your life by loving yourself enough to say you’re not going to settle for being treated badly.

To all who are single this Valentine’s Day, do or learn something or go somewhere you’ve always wanted to—you don’t need to wait on anyone. Embrace it, own it, love yourself and your singleness—you’re worth it!

What is something you’d like to learn or do for yourself?

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Suzan E. Zan is a passionate communicator who explores life’s quirks, pains, heartbreaks, and the beauty found in them. Learn more at www.suzanzan.com.